Every time I pass one of these expectant mother parking spaces in the Kroger parking lot I want to park in them.
I never see anyone parking there and I wonder, who patrols these? Is there a special secret police force that scans every person to check if they are in fact pregnant and qualify for the space? Do they sit in their unmarked police cars or masquerade as guys pushing carts and selling Houston Chronicle subscriptions when really they’re waiting for the first slip up and then BAM! here come the SWAT team, sirens and handcuffs as forty undercover cops jump out aiming their guns at me as their leader calmly annouces through a bull horn, “You ma’am are not in fact pregnant but pretending to be so you can park a little closer to the deli and not all the way across the parking lot so you have to walk in the blazing heat all of 2.5 seconds longer!”
Then he shakes his head wearily, jaded at my blatant disregard for the law and common courtesy as he leads me through the horrified, growing crowd of spectators, handcuffed and sobbing wildly at the thought of missing out on my sandwich, to his unmarked police car where Danno waits to book me.
That’s what I imagine would happen anyways, only they’d both sound very stentorian and grave in a Perry Mason kind of way. Oh and Danno would be hot, let’s not forget that. :)